Why to share is something I feel as my self?

I have this urge to start bloging because I need to exteriorize my thoughs in a shared manner. I’ll start with this:

Writting has been my pasion since I was in prepa, but my writting was always about gore and that kind of stuff.

…sometimes I feel vertigo for living. Is like I have to much opportunities to do something about any topic I know about but I have to choose nothing because every option feels like a well of doom.

I have been drop: animation, design, music, football, arts, writting, chess, collections, photography, video editing, films, jokes, party organization, drinks, and so on…

Those are the ones I remember right now (2024-12-14 20:25 PDT) but it has been a journey until I’m here programming a blog. It feel like from everything I like programming and start bloging are the thing I like to do right now

I’m in the last 2 years of 20’s to start 30’s and it feels important, but it isn’t… is like if gaining years is something I need to address in my life. And I do, with all the pros and cons of it. From being productive and proactive about my age, but medicating with B suplement and creatine is like “ir un paso adelante” but it does not feel like that… it feels like wining a TV is more exiting we people is viewing you winning than the TV itself… having the TV in my home causes more problems than benefits in my life. I have to buy the arm for the TV, choose a place where to put it, install it, make the setup… and all that stuff for a ton cons, in the first place I told my girlfriend I don’t like to have a TV where the bed is. Because I like to have a healthy relationship with my sleep. And a TV there will be drawning my energy, letting my body be confortable in a bed with the borring TV… I want to go to a place like Laguna Hanson to experiment the things I already see in my spare time when I was studying… I don’t want to waste my time watching more episodes or movies or things…

I’m really upset that my girlfriend and my family que me restriega that I smile more for a TV than to standing with my girlfriend, isn’t that obvious I’m not happy with her… is too many maintainance right now, and everything feels like we could drop some things and let the relationship evolve to some other happier state, but is not like in programming that you just change the code and clean up the things. In real life we remember things even when we state that we will forget about it. In real life there is not something like in git where you can go and spend an hour or two to search where the issue comes from to explain your partner clearly. There is not such alike.